Text: Alias Alias Author
update: 10 June 2019
Mr Sir Orange, famous and fabulous Minister of Art and Fisheries, with a deep sigh of relief signed the draft of the New Protocol for the Prevention and Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination in Orange County, NPPEFDOC in brief. NPPEFDOC clearly stated that in Orange County discrimination in whatever form was not tolerated; be it on racial, gender, religious or tribal grounds. Cats, according to this trailblazing document, should not discriminate against mice (or any other species) when mice (or any other species) were naturally acting as mice (or any other species). The country as a whole had numerous populations spread out over an ever increasing number of provinces; all having their own customs and peculiarities, and the harmonization of all these differences by means of one instrument had been a tedious and sensitive operation.
This new instrument was designed to avoid highly embarrassing incidents such as the near drowning of the Envoy of neighbouring Mouseville when he came to pay his respects to Mr Sir Orange at the Orangery. Sentries at the residency had unceremoniously lifted up the Envoy as he arrived at the gate and had flung him in the superbly well stocked fishpond at the Orangery’s premises.
“Tell your master,” they jeered at the flying mouse, “that this is cat’s residency. Here mice enter at their own peril.”
Just at that moment Mr Sir Orange was on his way to the pond to try to resolve one of the fundamental questions of life.
”What is for supper,” he asked the guards who were hilariously amused by the frantic efforts of the Envoy to keep afloat.
“What about that?” suggested one of them pointing at the struggling official.
“Does not look like fish to me,” said Mr Sir Orange, “seems it can’t swim. What is it?”
The incident nearly sparked off a major diplomatic row that could only be resolved by very costly compensation for the humiliated and aggrieved Envoy and his fellow men in the form of a whole variety of exquisite cheeses, all of which had to be imported at great cost.
“This incident could only happen,” mused Orange, “because mice are small compared to cats. Don’t think the guards would have tried to throw an elephant in the water. Perhaps, for the sake of national unity, we should strive for a citizenry of approximately equally sized members. Mice should get bigger and elephants should shrink. By selective breeding. But what does this do to the principles of Karma? For us cats it is not a big deal, with the nine lives that we have, but the mouse that lived an exemplary life may not expect to come back as a miniature elephant the size of, let us say, a shoe box.”
At this point the Chef de Cuisine disturbed Mr Sir Orange’s deep thoughts. “Supper is done, your Excellency,“ the Chef announced. “It is the usual Monday Mouse Menu. But this dish today is special by its delicious cheesy flavours, exotic indeed with subtle Parmesan highlights in the otherwise rather plain mouse-scape.”
A sardonic smile slowly spread out over Mr Sir Orange’s face. “Is it not true,” he commented agreeably, “that if we rightfully allow mice to behave as mice in our country, and protect them in doing so by our New Protocol for the Prevention and Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination, a protocol which I have advocated tirelessly, is it then not so that we cats, in our own country, are entitled to the same; that is, the freedom to enjoy that which is innate in our very being – including our love for mice?”
update: 10 June 2019
Mr Sir Orange, famous and fabulous Minister of Art and Fisheries, with a deep sigh of relief signed the draft of the New Protocol for the Prevention and Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination in Orange County, NPPEFDOC in brief. NPPEFDOC clearly stated that in Orange County discrimination in whatever form was not tolerated; be it on racial, gender, religious or tribal grounds. Cats, according to this trailblazing document, should not discriminate against mice (or any other species) when mice (or any other species) were naturally acting as mice (or any other species). The country as a whole had numerous populations spread out over an ever increasing number of provinces; all having their own customs and peculiarities, and the harmonization of all these differences by means of one instrument had been a tedious and sensitive operation.
This new instrument was designed to avoid highly embarrassing incidents such as the near drowning of the Envoy of neighbouring Mouseville when he came to pay his respects to Mr Sir Orange at the Orangery. Sentries at the residency had unceremoniously lifted up the Envoy as he arrived at the gate and had flung him in the superbly well stocked fishpond at the Orangery’s premises.
“Tell your master,” they jeered at the flying mouse, “that this is cat’s residency. Here mice enter at their own peril.”
Just at that moment Mr Sir Orange was on his way to the pond to try to resolve one of the fundamental questions of life.
”What is for supper,” he asked the guards who were hilariously amused by the frantic efforts of the Envoy to keep afloat.
“What about that?” suggested one of them pointing at the struggling official.
“Does not look like fish to me,” said Mr Sir Orange, “seems it can’t swim. What is it?”
The incident nearly sparked off a major diplomatic row that could only be resolved by very costly compensation for the humiliated and aggrieved Envoy and his fellow men in the form of a whole variety of exquisite cheeses, all of which had to be imported at great cost.
“This incident could only happen,” mused Orange, “because mice are small compared to cats. Don’t think the guards would have tried to throw an elephant in the water. Perhaps, for the sake of national unity, we should strive for a citizenry of approximately equally sized members. Mice should get bigger and elephants should shrink. By selective breeding. But what does this do to the principles of Karma? For us cats it is not a big deal, with the nine lives that we have, but the mouse that lived an exemplary life may not expect to come back as a miniature elephant the size of, let us say, a shoe box.”
At this point the Chef de Cuisine disturbed Mr Sir Orange’s deep thoughts. “Supper is done, your Excellency,“ the Chef announced. “It is the usual Monday Mouse Menu. But this dish today is special by its delicious cheesy flavours, exotic indeed with subtle Parmesan highlights in the otherwise rather plain mouse-scape.”
A sardonic smile slowly spread out over Mr Sir Orange’s face. “Is it not true,” he commented agreeably, “that if we rightfully allow mice to behave as mice in our country, and protect them in doing so by our New Protocol for the Prevention and Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination, a protocol which I have advocated tirelessly, is it then not so that we cats, in our own country, are entitled to the same; that is, the freedom to enjoy that which is innate in our very being – including our love for mice?”
